1. Plan your trips carefully so you always arrive at
your campsite after dark. Backing a trailer is much faster when done at
nighttime, when it is harder to see the rocks, trees, ditches, holes, grills,
picnic tables and small children that may cause you to worry needlessly and
expend extra time in the backing process. Your motto should be, “If I hear a
crunch, I'll worry a bunch”, otherwise, go for it! Do not stop until you “get
it right” or hear the “crunch of failure”.
2. Much has been written about how to get your trailer
to go in the direction that you want it to go when backing. Some so-called “experts”
even recommend that you should simply “place your hand on the bottom of your
steering wheel and move it in the direction that you want the trailer to go”".
This is nonsense and serves only to overcomplicate the situation. The best,
quickest and only recommended method is "trial and error", and is
performed as follows:
- Turn your steering wheel all the way in either
direction (it doesn't matter which way)
- Back up a
little bit and observe which way your trailer is going
- If your trailer is going in the desired direction,
keep going
- If your trailer is not going in the desired
direction, stop, turn your steering wheel all the way in the opposite
direction, then proceed
- Repeat the steps listed above until your trailer is
where you want it to be.
3. Select a campsite that is far from being level. You
will have to call upon all your expertise and talent as a trailer backer to
position the trailer and any blocks, Legos, logs, rocks, Happy Meal toys, etc.,
you use to eventually get it level. The feeling of accomplishment after sixty
minutes of trailer level fine-tuning is unsurpassable.
4. “Jackknifing” a trailer by turning too far when
backing is a myth. Unless you hear the "crunch of failure", you are
fine - even if you can see the rear bumper of your trailer when looking through
the front passenger's window. By “pushing the envelope” like this, you will
find that you are able to get in and out of campsites that otherwise may look
impossible.
5. Always enlist the help of a qualified assistant
when backing. Qualifications can be any one of the following:
- The helper is your spouse and is “burned out” after
a long day of confinement in a very small area with you and your children.
Trailer backing is a great way to relieve stress.
- The helper is a small child who preferably has not
learned to speak yet. Trailer backing is a great way for kids to learn the
nuances of human communication.
- The helper is an ADHD prone child who fully
understands the backing process and the role of the helper, but “drifts off” to
other non-backing related activities without warning. Trailer backing is a
great way to teach ADHD kids how to be responsible. The telltale “crunch of
failure” is a perfectly acceptable way to reinforce the importance of staying “on
task”.
6. Don't agree on a system of hand signals ahead of
time. You and your helper will forget the signaling system between trips
anyway, and it's much more fun to have an impromptu game of “charades” every
time you have to back into a campsite.
7. In lieu of hand signals, the preferred method of
voice signaling is “screaming” or “yelling”. This has the added benefit of
frightening any stray forest animals away from the vicinity.
8. The correct answer to the question “WHICH LEFT (or
RIGHT) DO YOU MEAN?” is always “MY LEFT (or RIGHT), YOU DUMMY!”
9. For extra fun, instruct your helper in the fine art
of “standing right where (you) can't see them” while giving confusing hand
signals as described in (6) above.
10. Even the most seasoned backer will rarely “get it
right” on the first try. True backing perfection is achieved only after many
attempts and iterations. If a backing job looks perfect to you and your helper,
it is only an indication that true perfection has not been achieved, and at
least five more attempts are needed. If your helper thinks the attempt is
perfect but you don't, you should execute at least ten more attempts. Stop only
when it is clear that you will never get it as good as you had it that one
time.
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